Chemistry test - everything you need to know about guys being hormonal

Guys have hormones too. Our problem is that because our hormone levels don’t fluctuate as much as girls’ ones we tend not to experience the mood swings you face. Guys are pretty much the same from one day to the next. That’s why we’re forever taken by surprise that the friend we gently kiss goodbye in the morning can turn into a screaming banshee when we’re 5 minutes late in the evening.

Guys have testosterone. It’s made in our testicles – which most of us think is an ugly name for something so close to our hearts. Not to mention so often in our hands. Trust us girls, if you had them you would too. They should really be called something much more elegant – like ‘Love Bunches’ or ‘Seed Pearls’.


Testosterone is what sorts the men from the boys. Think broad shoulders, hairy legs, chins and chests, deepening voices, and a sudden interest in all matter sexual. It’s an anabolic steroid that is linked to the growth of muscle mass and bone density. It also gives us our natural male aggressiveness. The adrenal gland also produces testosterone so it’s involved in the whole ‘fight and flight’ reflex.

Interestingly girls have testosterone too. It’s made in the ovaries but, on average, men have 7 times more than girls do. Scientists say that testosterone affects the female orgasm – apparently the more you have in your body the stronger your orgasms will be. Not that we recommend you should start taking it as a supplement! You’d end up shaving more than just your legs.

Girl under the duvet


Cartoon of a bloke
Graphic of bloke in Mr Universe pose




In men testosterone is generated in response to a variety of situations. With regard to sex studies show that if a guy watches a sexy movie his body will manufacture extra testosterone peaking about an hour after the end. Probably just about the time it takes to get back from the multiplex having stopped off for a drink on the way.

In fact any sexy situation will push the testosterone button. Also when guys get sexually excited we produce adrenalin. The two together make a really quite frightening combination. It’s what makes us ‘come on strong’ to girls, what can turn the seemingly cute guy into a sexual monster. We’re sorry about that. It’s about the only mood swing we tend to get. We know it can frighten you because it can take us quite by surprise.

The thing is that when our hormones are raging we feel like we could conquer Everest. The moment we’ve had sex we’d probably struggle to conquer a molehill. At least until the next time we get aroused. If it all seems a bit selfish most of us do feel a bit bad about it. Sorry again.


As ever in life you never know how powerful something is until you are without it. We know this because we know a guy who was put on large doses of anabolic steroid pills for a short term medical condition in his eye. The volumes of this external steroid in his blood stream fooled his body into stopping making testosterone – to dramatic effect.

Within a couple of weeks he had lost all ability to get an erection and lost all interest in girls. He claims you could have paraded all the entrants for Miss World in front of him naked and he wouldn’t have looked up from his coffee. In effect he had been ‘chemically castrated’ which he said was rather mind-boggling – in his brain he knew he was supposed to be interested in women and sex but he simply couldn’t be bothered.

Quite fascinating from a guy’s point of view he genuinely felt ‘unmanly’. He lived in London and, before he took the steroids, had been happy to jostle other people in the bus queue or push his way onto the tube with the best of them. Once the steroids kicked in he found he was holding back and letting other ‘more alpha’ males, and women, push in front of him. Sometimes he would wait for several trains until he could get on quietly.

Luckily once the course of steroids was finished he was back and as feisty as ever. And he regained his manhood in every sense. But it’s an object lesson for guys that we are in the grip of our hormones every bit as much as girls are.